Because I know you guys are riveted, I’ll let you know that Chuggo is now posting on Hipinion, the forum I frequent. Problem is, it’s a fake Chuggolug (probably). Honestly, do you really think there’s any chance Chuggz would know what to do in front of a keyboard?
Anyway, this is noteworthy because of this:
EDIT: There’s been some nasty rumors on said forum that Chuggo is facing some legal problems for spiking a lady’s drink. Chuggz has an answer to these vicious allegations. If there is a god, he will prove these e-mails to be real. More updates to follow.
subject: thx from chuggz
From: Chuggo (chuggolug@gmail.com)
Sent: June 18, 2008 10:04:17 PM
To: Mr. Conductor (xxxxxx@xxxxx.com)
mr conduktr
thx 4 showin me dat hipinion.com/forms wnt me in. it means a lot 2 da chuggz.
sum of wat dey r sayin is fny and tru. its totly a difrent thng 2 pop pilz wit a ho b4 fukin her thn 2 force the bitch 2 take da pill. i dnt get the law.
ill leev u wit a ryme cuz ur frends lyk dem:
my lawyer likes to tell me
be quiet as a cat
u should do the same
when ur mouths around my gat
Yes, I’m pretending that people are up in arms about the Group D results still not being published to make myself feel better. But in the unlikely case people are sitting on the proverbial pins and needles, or proverbially sitting on pins and needles, I officially apologize to those people and to Wally Carlo and the Beave. I assure you its only taking this long because I don’t want to fuck up my group as badly as Carlo fucked up his…just kidding guy; but seriously the Turks? Really?
So, with those formalities taken care of I will now tell you I’m working on Group D and plan to have some hot pics and picks for you soon. Something else to look forward to in the near future; a look at America’s very best baseball player. True story. Here’s a sneak peak. He OBP’ed .545 this past week and scored 6 runs. “America’s very best baseball player” might be a title a bit too lofty, but please do take some guesses and we’ll see if any of you get it right.
Before I go I will throw one picture your direction, just to whet the appetite.
USA! USA! USA! King George is a tyrant! Let’s blow some shit up! Let me hear a Marv Albert inflected “yes!”
Now to the business at hand, starting with yesterday’s business of Carlo’s Group B selections. We had getboof’s first moral dilemma concerning the whole business of Carlo and the Austrian youth. In my eyes the Austrians clearly outclassed the Croatians. Mr. Rossi admits so much. Even after stating that he was glad eurogirls do not post the age of the lovelies they photograph (I let my grandpa write the first half of this sentence) he disqualifies the Swiss Austrians based on the assumption that they are underage, citing his lack of desire to go on record with his support of ephebophilia. This in turn puts Mr. Rossi on the record fully implying that he does indeed love the youngsters. Therefore, in conclusion, “Shenanigans!”
It’s my turn to doink this up. Here is your group of death.
France
Yes, I am intentionally starting with the girl who is likely underage. And yes, the French are still very much in the running for the group. This girl on the right looks so much better with her mouth closed, but unfortunately no one has ever told her that.
Romania
Italy
And the ladies my forefathers didn’t mind sailing away from,
The Netherlands
And after much deliberation, here is your table:
Italy
Romania
Netherlands
France
I’m playing the Pocahontas role here, spurning my own kind for the exotic, mysterious strangers, with Romania as my sexy Capt. John Smith. A very tightly contested group and once again there are no losers when euro girls are up. Ace has Group D coming soon.
You’ve seen the rules. You’ve seen group A. Let’s carry on, shall we? Group B includes Germany, Croatia, Austria, and Poland.
Germany:
Croatia:
Since the first picture included 2 ladies, I don’t feel bad for this one only containing 2/3rds of a lady.
Austria:
So glad euro2008girls.com doesn’t post the age of the people they photograph……..
Poland:
As hard as it is for me to preclude the Austrians from advancing, I’m pretty sure the girls in that first picture are both 16. As much as I love that, I don’t want to go public with my support of that. Therefore, Croatia to win the group and Germany to advance as the second place finisher. Here is the table.
Kicking things off is a pretty wide open group containing Portugal, the Czech Republic, Turkey, and co-hosts Switzerland. Most of these images should let you click on them for a bigger version. Let’s get right to it:
Portugal:
Czech Republic:
Turkey:
Lot of entrants in this one, but I’m paying the most attention to the two wingers at right.
It appears as if Lindsay Bluth/Funke is a Turkey supporter… For reference sake, here is Lindsay:
Switzerland:
Well there ya go. A very strong first day showing. It’s quickly becoming clear to me that there are going to be no losers in this tournament. I’m going to have to give the Swiss hosts the nod for the group A win, which comes as a surprise to me, at least. A good initial showing, plus they have the depth to make some noise in this tournament. I think I’m going to have to go with the Turks for second, narrowly edging out the Portuguese. Despite their lush skin tones and chiseled physiques, the Portuguese ladies will end up leaving one a bit unsatisfied. They lack solid substance underneath all the glitz and glamor – amazingly similar to the football team they support. Anyway, lets get the official table:
Group A:
1. Switzerland
2. Turkey
3. Portugal
4. Czech Republic
Disagree with me? Let me have it in the comments.
Also, before anyone gives me flak for missing this photo, it came to my attention that it was taken at the Euro 2004 tournament (hence the presence of English fans in the background). Regardless, the photo still deserves to be on this blog, so here ya go, a little group A bonus.
We here at Get Boofed are major advocates of taking a good thing and straight up overusing the shit out of it. For that reason, we hereby present to you, our loyal reader(s), the GetBoofed Euro 2008 Ladies Championship. The tournament will utilize the same formant and nations as the actual event, only the teams will be advancing based solely on the caliber of female fans they were able to get to Austria/Switzerland.
The group stages will last one day apiece, beginning with group A later today. Winners will be chosen arbitrarily by us, with the possible exception of reader polling being done for the semis and the final. Two pictures will be allowed per country during the groups, one a piece during the elimination rounds. However, multiple girls in one picture is acceptable, and it will still only count as a single picture. The same picture may not be used twice, and only genuine fangirl groupies and wannabe groupies will be allowed…none of this pompous WAG business.
One quick note. Most of the material for this comes from the fine people at Euro2008girls. They don’t know who we are, they don’t know that we’re doing this, and they surely don’t endorse this site. That being said, they truly are doing the lord’s work over there, and we strongly recommend you check them out.
Anyway, let the games begin. Check back later today for all the group A action. And, to get the ball rolling, here are some ineligible famous fans. Don’t let them cloud your judgment later in the tournament, I just had to somehow get them on this site.
Sylvie Van der Vaart – wife of Rafael
Sarah Brandner – girlfriend of German Bastian Schweinsteiger
Belen Rodriguez – Argentinian girlfriend of Italian Marco Borriello
I promised at least 1 hot girl this weekend and figured might as well throw something up for the ladies too. Not to put him on the spot here, but I imagine Carlo Rossi will have an informed Euro recap that will arrive shortly. From what I could tell, Fernando Torres was dominant and the Germans could have used Ballack at 100%. On the euro2008girls.com front, not as strong of showing from the Spanish women, although you certianly can’t argue with the above pictured mamacita, who is muy caliente fo sho. I am hoping we can get a getboofed roundtable discussion up sometime this week to debate and eventually crown a winner of the euro08girls title.
Stray observation from the match. If (when) they ever make a Jens Lehmann biopic, there is no way he isn’t played by John C. Reilly. “This fall, John C. Reilly is The Curly Haired Keep, rated PG-13.”
Some things I was right about in my terribly inadequate Euro “preview”:
Six of the eight quarterfinalists.
The Dutch winning their group — and their generally having a team that had the ability to do some damage.
Some things I was wrong about:
Fabregas making this his tournament, since his manager refuses to start him. (Thought he did score the clinching goal in the Spain/Italy shootout.)
Worrying about the French’s younger generation. Manager Raymond Domenech is terrible. I mean, I’m no tactician, but his starting selections across the board seemed akin to Van Basten benching the likes of Sneijder, VanderVaart, and Robben in favor of Davids, Cocu, and Kluivert. For those of you who don’t know who the hell I’m talking about, the French basically trotted out the team that won the 2000 European championship. Eight soccer years is a really, really long time.
Christiano Ronaldo doing anything of note. Well, I suppose he did have one of the harsher injuries of the tournament. Yep. Here it is. I mean, how can you blame him for being so ineffective against Germany with that terrible injury to deal with?
Anyway, we’re down to four teams. The Spain/Russia matchup should be a watchable, fast-paced affair. Russia will likely try to defensively play Spain similar to the Italians, but the Russians will be sure to throw more men forward. Also, the Russian’s lack of size should open things up some more for Spain’s offense. If Aragones starts Cesc Fabregas on the bench again I am going to shit.
Turkey’s comebacks and last minute insanity have been one of the more improbable displays in all of sport in recent memory, but they can’t possibly compete with Germany as the Turks are going to missing a shit ton of players due to injury/suspension (six regulars, to be exact), can they? I mean, Turkey might be forced to play their backup to the backup goalie in the field.
Anyway, my prediction is worth fuck all but if you’re wondering (you aren’t) I’m taking Germany over Russia in the final. I’m typically hesitant to jump on bandwagons of teams like Russia at this point, but it’s hard for me to imagine Spain beating them for the second time in a couple weeks. However, I would like to see Spain win it, though. Fernando Torres is just so pretty. Wait, what?
So yeah. Just a few more matches until the Andrei Arshavin bidding war can begin. Don’t worry, if Arshavin can’t be had by your team, Schweinsteiger, Podolski, and David Villa look to be on the move as well.
Anyway, most of the reason why I made another soccer post is so that I can post a picture of this unnamed Italian fan. As much as I hate the Italian soccer team, wow, just, ok, I’m going now.
