Because I know you guys are riveted, I’ll let you know that Chuggo is now posting on Hipinion, the forum I frequent. Problem is, it’s a fake Chuggolug (probably). Honestly, do you really think there’s any chance Chuggz would know what to do in front of a keyboard?
Anyway, this is noteworthy because of this:
EDIT: There’s been some nasty rumors on said forum that Chuggo is facing some legal problems for spiking a lady’s drink. Chuggz has an answer to these vicious allegations. If there is a god, he will prove these e-mails to be real. More updates to follow.
subject: thx from chuggz
From: Chuggo (chuggolug@gmail.com)
Sent: June 18, 2008 10:04:17 PM
To: Mr. Conductor (xxxxxx@xxxxx.com)
mr conduktr
thx 4 showin me dat hipinion.com/forms wnt me in. it means a lot 2 da chuggz.
sum of wat dey r sayin is fny and tru. its totly a difrent thng 2 pop pilz wit a ho b4 fukin her thn 2 force the bitch 2 take da pill. i dnt get the law.
ill leev u wit a ryme cuz ur frends lyk dem:
my lawyer likes to tell me
be quiet as a cat
u should do the same
when ur mouths around my gat
I’m sure most of you are familiar with Bert Blyleven’s love of farting. By extension, it should be no surprise that Blyleven enjoys the delightful act of shitting, as the kids are calling it.
Mike watched as Bert ran around to the players to reveal the photo and saw the teammates howl with humor and disgust. Finally, after the Polaroid made its rounds with the teammates, Mike was able to view it… Pictured in the photo: a turd. A giant turd, in fact, made by one Bert Blyleven.
You should really read the entire article, it’s a gem. And for the love of God, please, please get this man into the hall of fame.
Seriously. I don’t even know where to begin with this.
Then someone in a forum I frequent (shut the fuck up. you try having more of a life than that living in Iowa.) recently received this e-mail… let’s all pray that it’s real:
subject: chuggo writin u
From: Chuggo (chuggolug@gmail.com)
Sent: June 18, 2008 1:52:41 AM
To: Mr. Conductor (xxxxxx@xxxxx.com)
yo u sed the othr nite when u wuz spinnin trax dat u new sum ppl who likemy shit and tht dey haz sum questions 4 da chuggz.
He hit two more home runs today, giving him 18 on the year in 235 AB. He’s currently sporting a 298/411/617 line. Can we at least get Matt LaPorta some AAA playing time?
Until bv mentioned it a few posts ago, I had totally forgotten that at any point, Starbury was anything besides, well, Starbury. It’s difficult to imagine such an era in this turbulent year of our Lord 2008, isn’t it? I mean, just try to imagine an era involving Stephon Marbury making consecutive playoff appearances. The existential questions faced on a daily basis must have been much easier to answer with the knowledge that Starbury would still be playing basketball in May instead of fucking Knickerbocker interns in backseats. His departure from a relatively stable twin cities existence has caused a ripple in the space/time continuum that will perplex both physicists and philosophers for the next decade. SI’s vault contributes to the enigma that doesn’t give a fuck about these white season ticket holders.
No, seriously. The former UF standout and current Brewers prospect hit two homers on Thursday. His OPS in AA this season was 1.044 going into the game. He’s got a career OPS of 1.056. Apparently, the Brewers don’t have enough amazing young hitters already. This dude is fucking awesome. So is Carlo Rossi. What?
With the 2008 NFL Draft nearly upon us, we bring in Get Boofed’s resident prospect evaluator Tobias Fünke.
Mr. Fünke is an experienced evaluator of talent known primarily for his lack of self-awareness; he looks past the analytical methods common in today’s sports landscape and evaluates prospects using a more traditional method: his eyes and gut. Funke’s first target is the man who will be the number one pick in this year’s draft, Michigan tackle Jake Long. It is contained below.
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