Nobody wants to hear that their favorite starting pitcher is getting moved to the bullpen, especially not when he is getting shoved out there by what appears to be one of the batboys. Granted, this particular batboy has shown an ability to pitch baseballs really well, but there is something he can’t do – Boof. When he takes the mound his outings will be completely devoid of Boofing. Particular things in absentia in batboy’s starts? A goatee, greasiness, corpulence, delays on account of lasciviousness; if I keep going I might cry.
But lets turn this frown upside down. Boof isn’t leaving us, he’s not even getting sent down to the minors. He is simply moving to the ‘pen. There is now the possibility that we could see people get Boofed on a more regular basis. Did that turn the frown upside down yet? Reggie is certainly excited to watch people get Boofed 4 times a week. It’s the McDonald’s approach to Boofing; the key is volume. We’ll get less Boofage per Boofing, but we will Boof frequently and have unbridled vigorous Boofness in short bursts. Anybody not wearing the same expression as Get Boofed fanatic Reggie after making that realization clearly has no pulse; either that or no unchaste interest in batboys, haven’t quite figured it out yet.