Because I know you guys are riveted, I’ll let you know that Chuggo is now posting on Hipinion, the forum I frequent. Problem is, it’s a fake Chuggolug (probably). Honestly, do you really think there’s any chance Chuggz would know what to do in front of a keyboard?
Anyway, this is noteworthy because of this:
EDIT: There’s been some nasty rumors on said forum that Chuggo is facing some legal problems for spiking a lady’s drink. Chuggz has an answer to these vicious allegations. If there is a god, he will prove these e-mails to be real. More updates to follow.
subject: thx from chuggz
From: Chuggo (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Sent: June 18, 2008 10:04:17 PM
To: Mr. Conductor (email@example.com)
thx 4 showin me dat hipinion.com/forms wnt me in. it means a lot 2 da chuggz.
sum of wat dey r sayin is fny and tru. its totly a difrent thng 2 pop pilz wit a ho b4 fukin her thn 2 force the bitch 2 take da pill. i dnt get the law.
ill leev u wit a ryme cuz ur frends lyk dem:
my lawyer likes to tell me
be quiet as a cat
u should do the same
when ur mouths around my gat
Let’s hear it for nontraditional work schedules!
Or not. Anyway, that is Ace’s excuse for not manning up and taking Group D, so I’ve assumed responsibility. After this hopefully we’ll shit out a quarterfinal post by week’s end and we can wrap this shit up. Group D contains Spain, Russia, Sweeden, and Greece. Without further ado, the ladies:
And the table:
And there ya go. Thankfully, the quarterfinals are going to be taken care of in one post, so we are almost through with this shit. The quarters will match up like this: Switzerland v Germany, Turkey v Croatia, Italy v Sweden, Spain v Romainia.
Also, on a spur of the moment decision the roster of writers for GetBoofed will be growing to four, so be on the lookout for that.
After some searching, I have finally found this gem of a picture of your Marlins opening day starter Mark Hendrickson, who was recently cemoted to bullpen duty along with fellow starter Ryan Tucker. Anyway, before I get sidetracked, here is Mark Hendrickson in all his pre-MLB glory. Allegedly this poster [minus the text, I assume] currently hangs in the Marlins clubhouse.
Why the transition to bullpen duty, you ask? For starters, opposing batters have been going all MJ on him as Hendrickson sported a 7.20 and 7.77 ERA, respectively, for the months of May and June. Yes, that’s ERA’s of seven-plus from the man deemed by the coaching staff to have been the best available pitcher at the end of spring training – a 6’9″ former NBA journeyman. Does he even have a major league pitching job if Randy Johnson wasn’t so tall?
Filling the roles? Mediocre prospect Chris Volstad and Minneapolis native Josh Johnson, who returns after a year and a half of missed time thanks to Joe Girardi’s Baker-esque abuse (see: Anibal Sanchez) and a little thing I like to call “oh fuck me another Marlins pitcher is visiting James Andrews who will deem that he needs Tommy John surgery.” You might remember Josh Johnson as being the dude who came onto the scene in that magical 2006 season and posted a 3.10 ERA in 157 innings – a figure which would have been good for 4th in all of baseball had he had enough innings to qualify.
I know I should set moderate expectations for Johnson’s return, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Between his return and Anibal’s possible August return – expect the Marlins to actually have some pitching and potentially end the year at .500 or above. And hell, with no teams in the NL East displaying any desire to pull away with the division, could the Marlins even make a push for the playoffs? Oh, and for those of you who are already firing up your calculators to comment on Florida’s pythagorean numbers and the fact that they’ve allowed more runs then they’ve scored: fuck you. Please just let me enjoy my blind bliss for at least a couple days.
Also, I would just like to say that all of these other pitchers could be moot of Ricky Nolasco keeps playing like he has been.
Yes, I’m pretending that people are up in arms about the Group D results still not being published to make myself feel better. But in the unlikely case people are sitting on the proverbial pins and needles, or proverbially sitting on pins and needles, I officially apologize to those people and to Wally Carlo and the Beave. I assure you its only taking this long because I don’t want to fuck up my group as badly as Carlo fucked up his…just kidding guy; but seriously the Turks? Really?
So, with those formalities taken care of I will now tell you I’m working on Group D and plan to have some hot pics and picks for you soon. Something else to look forward to in the near future; a look at America’s very best baseball player. True story. Here’s a sneak peak. He OBP’ed .545 this past week and scored 6 runs. “America’s very best baseball player” might be a title a bit too lofty, but please do take some guesses and we’ll see if any of you get it right.
Before I go I will throw one picture your direction, just to whet the appetite.
USA! USA! USA! King George is a tyrant! Let’s blow some shit up! Let me hear a Marv Albert inflected “yes!”
Now to the business at hand, starting with yesterday’s business of Carlo’s Group B selections. We had getboof’s first moral dilemma concerning the whole business of Carlo and the Austrian youth. In my eyes the Austrians clearly outclassed the Croatians. Mr. Rossi admits so much. Even after stating that he was glad eurogirls do not post the age of the lovelies they photograph (I let my grandpa write the first half of this sentence) he disqualifies the Swiss Austrians based on the assumption that they are underage, citing his lack of desire to go on record with his support of ephebophilia. This in turn puts Mr. Rossi on the record fully implying that he does indeed love the youngsters. Therefore, in conclusion, “Shenanigans!”
It’s my turn to doink this up. Here is your group of death.
Yes, I am intentionally starting with the girl who is likely underage. And yes, the French are still very much in the running for the group. This girl on the right looks so much better with her mouth closed, but unfortunately no one has ever told her that.
And the ladies my forefathers didn’t mind sailing away from,
And after much deliberation, here is your table:
I’m playing the Pocahontas role here, spurning my own kind for the exotic, mysterious strangers, with Romania as my sexy Capt. John Smith. A very tightly contested group and once again there are no losers when euro girls are up. Ace has Group D coming soon.
You’ve seen the rules. You’ve seen group A. Let’s carry on, shall we? Group B includes Germany, Croatia, Austria, and Poland.
Since the first picture included 2 ladies, I don’t feel bad for this one only containing 2/3rds of a lady.
So glad euro2008girls.com doesn’t post the age of the people they photograph……..
As hard as it is for me to preclude the Austrians from advancing, I’m pretty sure the girls in that first picture are both 16. As much as I love that, I don’t want to go public with my support of that. Therefore, Croatia to win the group and Germany to advance as the second place finisher. Here is the table.
Posted in Carlo Rossi, Euro 2008 Ladies Championship, Soccer
Tagged arr c'mon fuck a guy, austria, croatia, czech republic, dude that was awesome, Euro 2008, Euro 2008 Ladies Championship, germany, poland, standards? what standards?
Kicking things off is a pretty wide open group containing Portugal, the Czech Republic, Turkey, and co-hosts Switzerland. Most of these images should let you click on them for a bigger version. Let’s get right to it:
Lot of entrants in this one, but I’m paying the most attention to the two wingers at right.
It appears as if Lindsay Bluth/Funke is a Turkey supporter… For reference sake, here is Lindsay:
Well there ya go. A very strong first day showing. It’s quickly becoming clear to me that there are going to be no losers in this tournament. I’m going to have to give the Swiss hosts the nod for the group A win, which comes as a surprise to me, at least. A good initial showing, plus they have the depth to make some noise in this tournament. I think I’m going to have to go with the Turks for second, narrowly edging out the Portuguese. Despite their lush skin tones and chiseled physiques, the Portuguese ladies will end up leaving one a bit unsatisfied. They lack solid substance underneath all the glitz and glamor – amazingly similar to the football team they support. Anyway, lets get the official table:
4. Czech Republic
Disagree with me? Let me have it in the comments.
Also, before anyone gives me flak for missing this photo, it came to my attention that it was taken at the Euro 2004 tournament (hence the presence of English fans in the background). Regardless, the photo still deserves to be on this blog, so here ya go, a little group A bonus.
Posted in Carlo Rossi, Euro 2008 Ladies Championship, Soccer
Tagged arr c'mon fuck a guy, czech republic, Euro 2008, Euro 2008 Ladies Championship, eurogirls, portugal, standards? what standards?, switzerland, turkey