Tag Archives: morneau for the win

C’mon, Guys, Slutley Just Wants To Entertain You With Dingers

About the actualy home run hitting, what Josh Hamilton did was most certainly awesome, but let us not forget that Justin Morneau is your raining (boner) reigning champ. If MLB wants to change the rules and make it total homers over 3 rounds, that’s cool, but your champion Morneau got heartily dissed last night. Rhymes with porno, fellas, not that hard. I can only imagine what would have happened on the mic if Doug Mientkiewicz would have ever won a home run derby over a feel good story of the year.

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Happy Canada Day There, Buddy

In honor of the birth date of our dear friends from the North (and keeping the tradition alive of being at least a day behind relevance) I would like to present all Canadians with this special Canada Day gift. It is the best kind of gift, homemade and from the heart. BV is proud to present The Mural of Canadian Excellence in the Field of Athletics.

From the Great One to a Masters champion, from the Hitman to Hargreaves, from league MVPs to all curlers, and of course Pierre “The Dunk Shot Machine” St Moosechard, the Great White North has given us many special competitors on all the fields of play. So once again, happy birthday Canada. We are all very proud of you.

You don’t have to be even a little bit Canadian to get boosebumps from that.

The Winds Of Shit Are In The Air

Those poor goddamm Royals. One pitch away from snapping a 9 game losing streak, Craig Monroe delivered a kick to the collective testes of the Royals when he drove Joel Peralta’s 3-2 fastball into the left field seats. Peralta also served one up to Morneau in the 10th and the Twins have suddenly won 5 of 6. Some highlights from the Royals’ locker room after the game:

“We’ve got too many babies here” – Jose Guillen

“Now I know why this organization has been losing for a while” – Guillen

“Oh my god, oh my god” – Peralta

Kansas City likely settled into their permanent home for the remainder of the season, all alone in last place following Detroit’s win over the Angels.

On the Twins side, these guys continue to hang around the division lead (2 gb) despite some horrendous offensive numbers. Mauer and Morneau have been great, naturally, but Cuddyer (.237/.304/.319), Young (.262/.318/.333) and Lamb (.238/.273/.320) have been borderline gawdawful. If one assumes that this terrible trio can get out of the Everett Zone at the plate and get back to their career averages, then it appears the Twins can compete into the fall. If they don’t and the pitching starts to falter I might have to start writing about the election come August.

Twins Take 2 From Indians

courtesy minnesotatwins.com

After 8 consecutive losses the Twins finally found a way to defeat the Indians yesterday, then found a way to do it again this afternoon. Nick Blackburn, Scott Baker + bullpen held the currently limp-sticked Indians to 1 run over the weekend while Justin Morneau provided 3 key rbis. Brendan Harris also became the first Twin not named Morneau or Kubel to homer. Shit, he was the first Twins second basemen to homer since Luis Castillo hit one off Jeremy Sowers of Cleveland on July 16, 2006. (If it wasn’t for baseball-reference that sentence would have simply read ‘Its been a coon’s age’ and I know how much you citizens love specific time frames)

On the defensive side Carlos “Leather Daddy” Gomez made a hell of a catch that probably saved the game in the top of the 9th. With 1 out and a runner on second Ryan Garko hit a fly ball into right-center. Gomez sprinted to his left and laid flat out, giving Dick an insta-bone and allowing me to pull the “Torii who?” again, a tradition I plan to pursue the length of Torii’s LA of A deal. If the print description of Gomez’s heroics doesn’t leave you in awe, here is some visual evidence. (The specific video would be Gomez “going full throttle” according to mlb.com)

A great defensive weekend for the Twins and enough Morneau to get by has them dry humping .500 again, but the offensive production continues to point to rough sailing ahead. While the pitching has far exceeded what anyone could have expected from these kids (and old timer), the Twins are slugging just .354 as a team. If Delmon and Lamb can get popping, and once Mauer hits his stride, and Cuddyer comes back… oh boy oh boy. I really didn’t want to end my first post being a Negative Nancy. We’ll call that last little nugget of homerism Optimistic Orin.

And finally, since we were playing Cleveland and Travis “Pronk” Hafner, I feel it is relevant to include this beauty, so enjoy.