What’s up dong-mongers? JK, JK. I missed you guys. As you may have noticed, there has not been a whole lot of activity around these parts for the last few months. I think it is time for a little getboofed version of “How I Spent My Summer Vacation.” I would say my lack of posting motivation was a 4-pronged attack.
A quick dissection of those prongs:
1) Brett Favre. The sports story of the summer (sans Phelps) was about the most boring thing that has happened to organized team sport since the Fort Wayne Pistons beat the Minneapolis Lakers 19-18. Shitpussies, I hate Brett Favre. The good news is his signing looks to be about as irrelevant as we possibly could have hoped it would be, and the Jets should keep on sucking. Add the Tom Brady miracle and the Dolphins still being the Dolphins, and the path is clear for Buffalo and America’s soon-to-be-sweetheart, Mershawn Lynch.
2) Sioux Falls. Up until a week ago, my homestead was Sioux Falls, SD. The name Sioux Falls is actually a mistranslation of a Native phrase, with a more correct translation coming out to “Two douchewads for every chode.” My abhorrence for Sioux Falls was also a product of my job there, which involved credit cards, telephones and guys in a “special jeans project.” By the end of my run there I wasn’t finding jokes in anything. I was a bitter, pessimistic young man. Alas, I have retreated back to the safe haven of Minnesota, about half an hour from Target Field, where the the boofage shall flourish.
It wasn’t all shit and douches. There are some good people out in KELOland too, and you all know I love you. Take no offense, and thanks for your support of getboofed.
3) Politics and Shit. Beave McQueen would like to quick take this moment and announce that I am endorsing the Junior Senator from Illionois for President of the United States.
Oh yeah. That is the good stuff right there. In an effort to be fair and balanced, here is an artistic depiction of John McCain too.
And that, my friends, is why there has been a lack of posts here. My general election fever has now even surpassed my Olympic fever, which ironically enough was a bloggable topic. If there is anything I am sure Mr. Boof does not stand for, it would be long dissertations on the issues of our times. The one idea that may make it through the de-politicization is a Sarah Palin comic strip. If that is something you the commenters might be willing to tolerate, let me know. I promise it will be at least a little funny.
What’s that? Olympic fever? Bowling? Sacramone?!?!?! Perspiration?
4) Laziness\Lack of Faith in Writing Skills and Ability to Think of Good Words and Funny Jokes and Pictures or Videos. AKA etc. I just haven’t felt very funny these last few months. I had no motivation, inspiration, anything. Dave Davidson, I feel like I owe you the largest apology. I wanted to post for you, I just could not perform when it came time to, uh, perform. But now, well, I feel a lot like Bania.
Welcome back, my beautiful children. Real sports and real posts coming soon. Maybe even Sarah Palin the Animated Series. I will be hitting up Twins-ChiSox: The Legend of Delmon’s Gold, so keep hitting that refresh button throughout the week. It feels good to be back.